Men have forever been burdened by the pressure to perform in bed and last longer. The problem seems to be particularly worse with Indian men: A report says that the average ejaculation time is maximum for America with 13 minutes but its minimum when it comes to India. Here, the average ejaculation time is less than 7 minutes (Source: TOI)
Lasting longer in bed is definitely possible, provided you follow the right blend of physical and mental practices.
1. Improve your mental stamina
Going into sex with a relaxed and confident mindset will have a great impact on your performance. Instead of hiding your concerns from your spouse, talk to them about it and the entire experience will be so much better.
2. Improve your physical stamina
You can train your body to do a lot of things, and lasting longer in bed is definitely one of them. Stamina training methods and masturbation can help you improve your performance.
While it may be difficult to control your orgasm when you are with your partner, you can certainly do it when you are masturbating - a phenomenon commonly known as Edging. Edging is when you stop physical stimulus to your penis just as you are about to reach orgasm, and then starting again a few moments later. Use Edging to increase the length of your masturbation sessions, aiming to last at least 20 minutes. Here is how to do it:
- While masturbating, stay very aware of how close to orgasm you are.
- When you are just about to reach orgasm, immediately stop stroking your penis. If you were watching a video, pause it.
- Wait and let your arousal level go down for at least 10 seconds. It is okay if you start losing your erection; just make sure it is not gone entirely.
- Start stroking your penis again (resume the video if you were watching any).
- Again, once you think you are closing in on your orgasm, stop.
Repeat this cycle at least 3 times during every masturbation session, and within a few days you will realize that it is getting easier. An added bonus is that if you follow edging, when you do reach orgasm it is extremely intense and powerful!
When you are actually in bed
Now, we know all this is easier said than done, and the exercises can be in vain if you do not apply the methods during actual sex. Practicing and masturbation sessions are going to help you for sure, but you can also follow these steps to nail the game.
3. Pleasure is not derived just from sex
Underestimating the power of foreplay and oral sex often leads to frustrated sex lives. Relying solely on sex to give your partner an orgasm will seldom lead you to success. Try and follow this routine the next time you are in bed with your partner:
Kissing: Not only on the lips. The neck and earlobes are strong erogenous zones that you should be targeting. Running your lips down her back can also do wonders. Spend at least 5 minutes on this. You can ask if she likes you on her breasts, and if she does, spend an extra 2 minutes there as well.
Touching: Run your fingers all over your partner’s body, and move towards the main zone only at the end. Once you are there, playing around with the clitoris with your fingers and occasionally inserting a finger or two will get half the job done for you!
Oral: 14% of women under the age of 35 have never had an orgasm solely from penetrative intercourse! This is where your tongue comes in. Ask her to guide you and go down on her with your tongue. Do not stop until she tells you that if you do not stop, she will orgasm. The idea is that when you start having sex, your partner should already be halfway there to orgasm.
Sex: Remember to stay calm and relaxed. If you have been edging during your masturbation sessions, you will already be ready for this. To take things home for your partner, practice edging during sex as well; stop just when you think you are about to reach orgasm, and start kissing your partner, give her oral sex instead, or simply change positions - women love this! You can get back to sex after you have toned down a little.
All this while, make sure that you are breathing normally and feeling relaxed. Remember to communicate with your partner, and the two of you shall have an exhilarating experience both in and out of the bed!